Sexy Latifay , Ganday Latifay Urdu

Suhag rat ko

Dulha:     Jan bolo aaj tumhein chand pe le jaoon ya taaron pe?
Dulhan:   (Sharma ke) Aap ka "Rocket" dekh loon phir faisla karoongi gi!

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Eik Pathan mele mai gaya.
Wahan do line lagi hui thi. Ek jagah likha tha "Dekhne ke Rs. 20/-"
Dusri jagah likha tha "Chodne ke Rs 10/-"
Pathan chodne ke liye ghus gaya. Usko chodne ke liye bakri di gai.
Pathan ne bakri ko maze se thoka.
Doosre din wo dekhne ki line mai lag gaya. aage walo ko poocha "ye dikhate kia hai?"
Aadmi bola "aaj ka tou pata nai kia dikhayenge...kal tou eik pathan bakri ko chodtey huwe dikhaya tha"

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A Fat man saw an ad in newspaper:
"lose 5kg in just one week"
He calls the company & lady says be ready tomorrow at 7am.

The next morning he opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes, undergarments & shirt saying:
"if u catch me u can fuck me!" & the girl starts running.

He starts running but doesn't catch her. During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't.
However he loses 5 kg.

He then asks for the 10kg program.
Next morning at 6 he opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thong & a shirt saying:
"u catch me u fuck me".

He loses 10 kg that week.

So he thought this program is awesome!
Lets try the 25 kg!
So he asked for the 25 kg but the lady said "R u sure?
its really tough".
he said "YES!"
Next day at 6 he opens the door, he finds a negro gay in just underwear saying..
"If I catch u, I will fuck u.."
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Larki apne Boyfriend se -
Mene 4 Larko se Sex kiya, to me Randi... Aur tumne 10 Ladkiyo ko kiya, to tum Jawan Mard...
Aisa kyo....?? B0L0....

Larka - Suno...

Jo 'Taala' bahut Chabiyo se khule,
wo kharab "Taala"

...Lekin,

Jis "Chabi" se bahut sare Taale khule,
wo

"MASTER KEY" kahlati hai...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Larka  dubai se aya tou dada ke liye viagra ki goli gift le kar aaya aur kaha
"agar rat ko kha ke maza aaya tou meray takiye ke nichey 500 rupay rakh dena"
Subha dekha tou 1500 rupay takiye ke nichey paray thay
Larka:  dada jee  maine tou sirf 500 ka kaha tha, laikin ye tou 1500 hain
Dada:   1000 rupay teri daadi ne diye hain!

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Mirza ghalib ne suhaagraat ko wife ka ghaagra utha kar ek shairr arz kiya:

"Le aai  phir kismat hame kaha pe,

Ye to wahi jagah hai, nikle the galib jahan se... :D =)) =D
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1 Andhi larki pehli dafa sex karwa rahi thi, jab maza aya tu poocha �yeh neechay kia latak raha hai?� Larka: Yeh tattay hain. Andhi: Yeh Andar nahi dalnay? Larka: nahi ye bahir hi rahtay hain Andhi: �Khayal kerna, andhi mohtaaj ka haq na kha na�

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Ek ladki Doctor k pass gayi
Mary phuddi main makhi gus gaye hai
Doctor ny kaha k lund main shahed laga k undar dalonga makhi chipak k bahar ajaye gi
Doctor lund andar dal k zor zor sy jhatky marny lagta hai
Ladki: kya kr rahy ho
Doctor: Plan badal gaya hai makhi ko andar hi maronga.

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Larki  apni  MOM se :  jab main susu karte hun tu siti ki awaz ati hai par ap ki nahi ati aisa kyun? 
MOM replies : baita siti tu maire bhe bajti thi  lekin tere bap ne baja baja kar kharab kardi.
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3Girls shadi k bad mili
1 girl:Mere wo to fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain phela kar boli,
Zara bahar ana.

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Aik FAQEER nay ghar k bahir se Awaz lagayi:

Babu ji roti milegi?

Andar se awaz ayi:

�Biwi ghar per nahi hai�

FAQEER:
Main ny Roti laine hai
�phuddi� nahi
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Conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga! 
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai! 
Conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha ticket  loo gi ?

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ek pathan bike rok kar helmit kujha raha tha. ek admi bola helmit to utaro. pathan bola tumhara gand mai kahrish hota hay to tum shalwar utar ta hay kia ?
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AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA   LERKI : VO KIYOO
 LARKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
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Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi�Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo boli �.na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai bevi boli�mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha Sardar bola�acha�par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha�

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-Father & Son At Medical Store,
Baap Ne CONDOM Ka Pack Kharida,
Son:Papa Ye Kia Hy?
Baap: Chohay Marne Ki Dawai,Son: LOO Bhenchod phudi Men B Chohay?
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Choron ne Dairy farm k rakhwalay ko nanga kar k 1 pole se bandh dia or sari Bhensen le gae Subah logon ne aakr usay khola to us ne bhens k bachre ko khoob mara, Logon ne pucha k is men is bezuban ka kya Qasoor?
Woh bola 4 mahine ka ho gaya lekin isko �Thann� or �Lun� ki pehchan nahi.
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PAPA : Woh kon si chez hai jis ek charoon taraf baal hotay hain 
SON : papa may bataoo PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo 
SON : may batata hoo �.. AANKH PAPA : ohh haan 
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay
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Suhag RAAt kO Nakami k baad �Pappu Muthal� farmatay hain

HuM jitni Chorh dia karte thay GhusaL Khane mein..

Aaj UtNi b myaser nahi NasaL barhanay mein�

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Eik Larki apnay boyfriend ko choot ka baal deti hay aur woh isay sunhar ki dukaan per sonay ka pani charhanay kay liye jata hay..
dosray din woh jub lenay ata hay tau sunhar us say pochta hay kay yeh baal tumko kaunsay babajee nay diya tha.
larka bolta hay yeh tau meri girl friend ki choot ka baal tha..
Sunhar : harami pehlay bata diya hota,,is baal ko humnay glass main pani dal kar dum karwaya tha aur poray ghar walo nay yeh pani pi liya.

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 Eik bacha jub bhi koi cheez zameen per gir jati tau usay uthanay say pehlay hamesha seenay per hath rakhta tha.
Uski maa ko bara ajeeb laga aur baitay say pocha kay baita tum hemsha seenay per hath rakh kar zameen say cheezain kyun uthatay ho.
Bacha : Meri teacher jub bhi nichay koi cheez gir jati hay tau seenay per hath rakh kar uthati hay.
Maa: Beta woh teacher hay,magar wada karo ainda tum is tarha say nahi uthao gay.
Bacha : Ami eik dafa unho nay seenay per hath nahi rakha tha tau unkay phaipray bahir agaye thay,isliye main seenay per hath rakhta ho.
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Eik Gaon kay larkay ko kisi larki say muhabbat hogai aur usnay apnay ishq ka izhar us larki say kiya tau larki nay kaha kay jakar mere baap say mera hath mango.
Woh uskay ghar gaya aur baap say rishta manga tau baap nay us kay samnay kuch shirtain rakhi aur sub say pehlay eik bakri laya aur kaha is ko chodo ,larkay nay bakri ko choda,iskay baad bili laya aur usay chodnay ka kaha ,larkay nay us ko bhi chod diya,iskay baad eik kutti laya aur usko bhi chodnay ka kaha,larkay nay usko bhi chod diya.
Akhir main baap nay kaha kay bus tumhara ab akhri imtehan hay ,is khoti ko chod kar batao.
Larka us khoti ko chodnay may lag gaya aur kafi dair tak chodta raha aur phir baap kay aya tau baap nay kaha kay ab main apni beti ka hath deta hoon tumhay.
Larkay nay kaha :abay beti ko chor ,yeh bata kay khoti kitnay main baichay ga?
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Eik admi darakht say neechay gira aur uski gand phat gayi,aur usko tankay lagwanay kay liye hospital lay jaya gaya.

Nurse tankay lagatay huay "Kitni khuli rakhni hay "
Admi dard say karhtay huay "Jitni app ki hay itni hi rakh do"
Nurse Eik inch aur phar kar chali gayi.

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Boy to Girl : Kya Gift chahiye.
Girl: Janu koi Esi cheez do jo tum De na sako aur main le na sako.
Larka apni pant utar kar bola "Le Meri Gand mar le ".

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Boy :Shadi kay baad tum Larkiyan Rukhsati kay waqt roti kyun ho?
Girl : Agar koi paraye ghar Ghar le ja kar teri gand maray tau kya tu Nachay ga.

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Bacha Dog sex dekh kar "papa yeh Dog kya kar raha hay"
Papa :Bitch ko kuch Smja raha hay.
Bacha :Aram say bhi tau samja sakta hay,is me bund marne ki kya baat hay.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mureed :Peer sahib apki eik jaib main tasbeeh aur dosri may Condom kyun hota hay 
Peer Sahib :Bacha Bhoot aur Choot ka kisi waqt bhi samna hosakta hay.

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Policeman to Girl :Sali dhanda karti hay?
Grl : nahi sahab main tau sales girl hoon, condom ki marketing karti hoon,ab customer try mang lay tau deni parhti hay.
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Shadi ki pehli raat shohar ne 500 de kar bola "hum nay yeh kaam kabhi free main kiya hi nahi "
Bv 200 wapis day kar boli : humnay 300 se ziada kabhi liye hi nahi "

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Jab ap ki Wife Pregnant ho tu us ki sari Sahailiyan os k pait pe hath pher k kehti hein

Congratulations
Laikan koi b aap ka LUN pakar kr nahi kehti  : Well done
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Eik  admi larki chodne gya
usne larki ko nanga kia aur  ulta jhuka kr bola tmhari chot pr eik  b bal nai hay Q?

Larki: Bhosri k chodne aya hy ya �KANGI� krne hai.

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Aik pathan chor ko pakar kar apne beton se kehta hay is ki gand maro sare try karte hain lakin andar nahe jata tu pathan guse my kehta hay jao churi le kar ao or is ki gand phaar ke andar dalo chor darr ke bola khan sahib aik dafa thok laga ke try kar looooooo.

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Aik wazeer ko badshah kee murghi par bohot ghussa aya. Badshah ney kaha ke tum isay jaisi mout dogay Main bhe tumhai waisi he mout dunga. Ab wazeer kaise bachai ga? Pata hai wazeer nai kiya kiya. . . Wazeer nai murgi ki gardan apni gand main laikar gand dabadi�
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Pathan Apni BIVI Se: . Kiya Hamari Jaan Hum Se Naraz Hai�? . BIVI: Nahi To . . . . 

Pathan: To Phir Hamari Taraf Moonh Ker K Kyun Leti Hui Ho�

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2 Bache Jungle me Potty kar rhe the, achanak Sher agya.. 
1st: aby tu dar to nhi rah..? 
2n: Nhi, me nhi darta.. 
1st: To phir apni dho meri Q dho rha hai..?
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BOY: can i kiss u? 
GIRL: where? on vertical or horizental lips? 
BOY: WHAT?
 GIRL: I mean on upper or lower lips? BOY: I DIDN�T GET U.. 
GIRL: CHUTIYE, HONT PE YA CHUT PE�

1 Bacha Ek Larky or Larki ko Sex karte Hue Dekh Leta Hai.
Bacha: Muje Bhi Karne Do Warna Me Aapke Papa Ko Bata Dunga.
Larka: Le Yaar Tu Bhi Karle. 

Bacha Kafi Try Karta Hai,
Par Uska Khara Hi Nahi Hota.

Bacha Chaddi Pehente Hue ..
Maa ki Chut Duniyadari Ki
Jo Kaam Galat Hai Wo Galat Hai.
Main to Bataunga.  

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Aik bandey ko bili ke sath sex kerny ki lat per gai magar zameer ne jab ziada tang kiya tu woh woh aik Molvi sahab ke pass jata hai aur kehta hai ke mujhy koi wazeefa batain ke main yeh adat bad ya bura kam kerna chor don. Mulla jee ne osey wazeefa batiya aur woh dil dil main duhrata yad kerta howa wapis chal diya aur achanak adhey rasty main khiyal aiya ke osey wazeefa achi trha yad nahi howa tha so woh bhool rah ahai. WOh wahin se wapis hu liya aur dobara molvi sahab ke pass puhncha. Derwaza khatkataiya tu Molvi sahab zakhmi halat main namodar hoey chehra aur hath kharonchon se bhery pery they  Os ne masla batiya tu molvi ne kaha abbey wazeefa tu tujhy baad main yad kerwaon ga pehly tu mujhy yeh bata Billi qabo kaisy ki thi.

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Boy to girl : tumhari dono tangoo kay beech main kiya hay?
Girl : lakeer hay
Girl to boy : tumhari dono tangoo kay beech main kiya hay.
Boy :Lakeer ka Faqeer.

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Boy to Dracola :Uncle kiya mani ka eik qatra khoon kay 100 qatro say banta hay?
Dracola : haan bilkul
Boy : Tau randi kay bachay khoon kyun peeta hay,lund choos liya kar.

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Eik bari umar ka admi eik larki ko chod raha tha ,jub woh choot main dalnay dalnay gaya tau lund phisal kar larki ki gand main chala gaya.
Larki boli : Uncle yeh kiya kar rahay ho ,choot main dalo na ,appka lund meri gand main chala gaya hay.
Old man : Janay do beta , madarchod ki kismat main goo khana hi likha hay.
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Yeh latifa app kay liye hay jo yeh parh raha hay.
Hota kuch yoon hay kay app apnay 4 doston kay sath jungle main jatay hain lakin achanak say kuch jangli log app 4 dosto ko ghair letay hain .
Junglio ka sardar babo shah hota hay jo londay bazz hota hay aur woh app charo dosto say pochta hay kay  "Jaan piyari hay ya gand " 
Pehlay dost say pochta hay tau woh kehta hay mujay jaan piyari hay ,Babo shah hukum deta hay kay iski gand mardo aur janay do .
Is tarha apkay dosray dost kay pass atay hain tau woh bhi yehi kehta hay aur phir teesra bhi yehi kehta hay aur dono ki gand mar kay dono ko bhi chor daitay hain.
Akhir main appki bari ati hain aur app kafi gairat mand insan sabit hotay hain aur kehtay hain kay mujay jaan nahi gand piyari hay,jaan lay lo bhalay.
Babo shah hukum deta hay kay theek hay isko jaan nahi piyari hay ,Sub milkay bari bari isko itna chodo kay yeh mar jaye.
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Eik pathan 40 din ka chilla kaat raha tha.
39 din eik shetan hazir hogaya aur uskay samnay pora nanga hokar lait gaya.
Pathan nay chilla chor kar uski gand marni shuru kardi aur jub farig hogaya tau shaitaan hans kar bola kay mainay tera chilla kharab kardia.hahaha
Pathan bola :Bhosri walay ,itnay dino say jo chilla kaat raha tha woh teri gand marnay kay liye hi kaat raha tha.

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Ghar ki Bell baji


BV ne Gown pehan kar jaa k darwaza khola to us k Shohar k dost ne andar aa k shohar ka pucha

BV boli:
Naha rahe hen

Dost:
Men 5000 tum ko Don ga tum apna Gown utaro.
Tungdast BV ne raqam le k Usko apna Badan dikha dia

Dost:
Sex kerne K 6000 or lelo

BV ne 6000 le k ye ijazat b dedi or wo kam kar k chala gaya

Shoher:
Kon tha?

BV:
Aapka dost jahangir tha

Shoher: Us Harami pe to mere 11000 rupay UDHAR hen us ne diye kya?

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Ek larki ko peche se kisi ne ungli di aur chup gaya
peche ek 65 sala baba ta.
LARKI:baba g miscal ap ne ki?
Baba shalwar kol k bola mera to balanc hi khatam hai.

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A vilage lady 2Doctor:Mje kuch dino k liye Bacha nahi chaiye.
Dr:To yh lo CONDOM.
Vilage lady:ye pani k sath laina hay ya dodh k sth.

Dr:�Lun�k sath .

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SUHAG RAAT

3:17am: Start kiss
3:21-open Nighty
3:24-Open Brazr
3:27-Open panty
3:31-Press Boobs
3:39am: ?
?
�EHTILAM�
KHUWAB THA (tharkiyo)

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1 Larkay ka LUND chota or patla tha
Wo apni lover ko andheray main le gaya
or us k haath main pakrha diya

Lover boli.
Sorry Janu main cigrate nahi peeti.

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.TEACHER: BEta yeh bataooo billi kay itnay bachay kaisey hotay hain,,
STUDENT: App kay billi say bhi zada bachay hoon agar aap bhi road pe nangee ghoomain .

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Aik bank mein robbery ho rahi thi. Dako ney sab ko line mein khara kiya hoa thaa aur haath mein aik syringe ley ker cheekh rahat tha keh" sab paisey dey do warna yeh aids ka injection hey, mein laga doon ga".

sab log panic mein jaldi jaldi apney paisey, watches, waghera dey rahey they.

Line mein aik sardar jee bhi kharey they. jab unki bari ayee to unhoon nein barey cool undaaz mein bola, "oye mein nahin darda, toon injection laa dey". Dacu pehley tu confuse hoa, aur phir uss ney sardar jee ko injection laga diya.

Jab dacu bhag giya tosab log bari hairat aur hamdardi key saath sardar jee key gird jamaa ho gey. kissi nein poochaa " sardar ji eh ki kitaa jey? Aids the teeka lawal liya jey?".

Sardar jee phir cool tareekey sey boley, "Haa, Aids? oye mein condom paya hoya wey!" 

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AIK DAFA AIK THARKEE LARKAY K SHADEE HO JATEE HAI.WOH ROOZ RAAT KO MAHOOL BANATA HAI.
9 MONTH BAAD BIWI KO DOCTOR K PAASS LAY KAR JATA HAI.DOCTOR KO KEHTA HAI CHEK KARAIN KIYA HAI.
DOCTOR SAID NA BACHEE HAI NA BACHA HAI HAWA HAI.
DOSREE BAAR FIR JATA HAI DOCTOR YEHI KEHTA HAI.
BUT JUB 3RD TYM DOC YEH KEHTA HAI.JWAN HEAT KHA JATA HAI.AUR HAFKEE SAY DICK BAHIR NIKAL KAR KEHTA HAI.DOCTOR SAHIB PANCHOD YEH CHECK KAROO DICK HAI YA AIR PUMP HAI.

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three girls were havng lunch ..
first one said i saw condoms in boss's drawer ...
second one said yes i also saw them and punchered them
third one said HARAMZADI bata to deti 

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SARDAR G KO AIK LARKEE PASAND AA JATEE HAI.SARDAR G OOS BACHEE KO PARPOOSE KARTA HAI.
BACHEE KEHTEE HAI.SORRY I M LESBIAN
SARDAR WHAT LESBIAN.
GIRL SAID.I HAVE SEX ONLY WID GALS.
SARDAR G FORRAN OOS KA HATH PAKRTAY HAIN AUR JAWAB DETAY HAIN.OHHHH I M ALSOO LESBIAN
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aik dafa randi kkhane main chapa per jata hay..dhandha bahat acha chal raha tha...sari gashtiyo ki bhinnot hoti hay..aik amma waha say guzar rahi hoti hain..woh rush dekh ker aik gashti say poochti hay k kya hua..woh ghusse main bolti hay..kuch nahi amma tofiya bat rahi hain...amma bolti hay acha..or line main khari ho jati hay..police wala sab k naam likh raha hota hay...jab woh amma k paas pohochta hay to bolta hay:..amma .. tum bhi.!!!..amma bolti hay: BETA DAANT NAHI HAY TO KYA HUA ..CHOOS TO SAKTI HOON .

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Khusray ney Mardana taqat ka Capsule Khaya tou Uss k andar sy Awaz aai.

Hum Maazrat Khuwah Hein

Aap ke System mein Matlooba Sahoolat Muyasar Nhi.

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Jealous Husband:Aaj tak tum kitne logo k saath soyi ho?Wife: Such bolon tu sirf aap k sath hi soyi hon baki sabhi k sath sari sari raat jagti thi.

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Sardar ki Shaadi k 3-Mah bad Bacha huaa.
Sardar-
A Ki hoya?

BV-
Tawdi Shadi Nu Kina Arsa hoyaa?

Sardar-
3-Mahinay

BV-
Meri Shaadi Nu?

Sardar:
3-Mahinay

BV-
Bacha Kinnay Arsay baad hoya?

Sardar:
3-Mahinay

BV-
Total Kinnay hoye?

Sardar-
Ballay Ballay
A tey puray 9 ho gaye
Main aiven Shak kari jaandaan

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